Experience Description
Dying felt like falling backwards into blackness; then it felt like I was sitting up out of my body, then standing facing away from myself. I don't remember if I glanced at the bed or not, but I don't think I felt the need to.
I remember thinking that everything was beautiful because it was as if someone had turned up the 'saturation filter' on life.
After enjoying the bright, vivid colors of blue and white in my room, I wondered what my mom was cooking. Quickly, I zoomed down to where she was standing. I saw a bright, orange and white hue around her body. I wondered what she was thinking. I heard her say, 'cook food, go watch TV, cook food, go watch TV' but her mouth wasn't moving. I realized this was her intention, while stating her inner thoughts. It seemed cool to be able to hear her inner thoughts.
I wondered what my dad was thinking. With that thought, I zoomed through the house, across the yard, and into the barn next to where my dad was knelt down, milking a cow. I saw a humanoid shadow figure standing next to him that was startled by my presence. Seeing a humanoid shadow figure with no distinguishing features was a normal occurrence for me, so I didn't think much of that. The 1800's farm house was severely haunted and I would often feel playful nudges, see my toys tossed or moved around, and I would see an adult-sized human shadow-figure watching me sleep most nights. Our dog never wanted to be in my room for some reason. I always slept under my blankets so I couldn't see the figure watching me and I had all of my stuffed animals surrounding me as a barrier to keep me safe.
I noticed my dad's energy seemed to be nearly invisible or perhaps it was so low that I could barely make out what color his was. I heard his thoughts and they were so sad. Not wanting him to feel sad, I gave him a big hug. It was normal for my dad to be lost in thought and not acknowledge my hugs. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to not hug me back. After hugging him, I noticed that my arms were glowing white. This didn't strike me as weird because everyone that I had been observing also had a color and a glow around them. I figured that the white was my color and my glow. Maybe it was just a cool skill I suddenly had now. I didn't think too deeply about it.
After hugging him, I heard his thoughts become more upbeat. I saw him turn his head to the right and say my name out loud as if he were wondering where I was. I was already right behind him, so I just kept standing there and waiting for him to give me a command or something. But the command never came and he went back to what he was doing. I figured he was in a better mood now and I could see the light around his body become a brighter orange, blue, and white mix. I happened to notice my sister was feeding the cows more hay. I didn't care to hear what her thoughts were because we never really got along at the time.
I wandered outside, but more slowly this time. I took in and appreciated the view of everything surrounding me. I was in awe with how extra-sparkly the snow was. There were more colors to the snow than I had ever seen before; yellows, pinks, reds, blues, greens, and etc. I wondered, 'What makes it so sparkly?' At that point I somehow became 'one with the snow.' I found myself surrounded in a void of blackness and all around me were particles of different colored lights popping in and out, in different locations. The understanding came to me that, 'These are the colors that make the snow. These colors make everything you see.' That was a cool fact, but I had the intention of wanting to explore more than the snow.
With that thought, I found myself standing back where I had been over the snow. I turned my attention to the night sky. The night sky was brighter than I had ever seen it before. The moon often grabbed my focus as a child and still does today as an adult. It was normal for me to observe the moon and stars and wonder what it would be like to live there. I remember seeing a cartoon where Wallace and Gromit went to the moon and ate cheese. With the desire to see the moon, I found myself being pulled towards the moon. I had brought this thought on myself, so I propelled myself there. I was moving so fast. It seemed like I was going through a tunnel, but everything was quickly warping around me.
Suddenly, I found myself in a crater on the moon. I was blown away at how much brighter space was and especially how bright the moon itself was. From Earth, I always assumed that space and the moon wouldn't be so full of light. I was blown away by the size of the crater I was in.
After what seemed like a few minutes in our time, I felt the presence of someone to my right side. I turned my attention and focus to my right and saw 3 large humanoid beings. They didn't have distinguishing features on their faces. They appeared as having large cloaks that went down to where their feet would be. They had arms and faces; but again, no features besides being made of white, flowing light. Even their robe seemed to be part of their 'body' and was also white, flowing light. They were probably the size of a sky scraper because I was so small in the bottom of the crater, yet there they were, sitting on the edge of the crater and their 'legs' could reach the bottom. They appeared to have a regular pair of wings that was made of the same energy as their bodies. Being in their presence was like that of being in the presence of an unconditionally loving parent.
It also felt like they were excited to see me (again?) but they didn't want to approach me quickly because I might have fled. These beings knew they had to hold my attention and focus to keep me with them so they could help me. I had a feeling they wanted to interact with me. I wondered who they were. Then one of the 3 stood up and slowly made their way over to me. It had a deep, masculine voice and powerful presence. He was still so tall next to me. It somehow either shrunk or maybe I had assumed they were really big. He didn't label himself as anything or anyone. He was there to guide me and offer information, support, and safety. The way he viewed me and loved me was the way that I view and love perhaps my favorite dog, or my own children. This love is unconditional, as if I could do no wrong even if I had done something wrong. I felt like he was looking at me like when I do something bad, it was just because I was misled and/or I didn't know any better due to my circumstances. This took me by surprise to learn such a unique way of viewing others.
'What did you think of your life?' was the first thing this loving, light being asked. I began to complain about everything a 10 year old could possibly complain about. When I finished, he asked, 'What have you learned?' I paused for a while; confused that I didn't realize I was supposed to be learning anything. Finally, I gave him a few answers I could think of off the top of my head. Then he gestured towards an ethereal river that was made of different strands of white and blue energy, all compiled together. There were sparkles of other colors within the river but it maintained, at all times, light blue and white light flowing from the right to the left in front of us.
We both approached the river and I peered into it. I realized that it was showing me different situations playing out. I had a feeling that I ought to observe further and that I was meant to judge, learn, and share my knowledge from these different situations with these light beings. It was then that experiences from my childhood popped up in front of me as if they were on a large holographic screen. I began to watch these experiences from third person view as if they were someone else's life. I hadn't yet at this point realized these were my experiences playing out before me. As I watched, I felt curious as to why each person was doing what they were doing. With that intention of wanting to understand, I found myself beginning to feel the emotions of each person and the impact of each emotion on each person. Some of the emotions were so strong they could be confused for physical sensations like that of pain. I also felt the way that I had made animals or bugs feel.
This later on after my NDE, would lead me to have trouble dealing with bugs because I didn't want to hurt them but I didn't want them near me.
After viewing these experiences, they returned to the river and were no longer in front and all around me. By the end of the experience, I believe I had finally caught on that it was my life I was reviewing. At one point, I was embarrassed by something I had seen myself do in the life review. I wanted to hide from the loving, light being. I found myself being pulled seemingly downwards or being surrounded by blackness. It was like I was in a void and the loving, light being became a prick of light in front of me. I heard him ask, 'What are you doing? Why are you embarrassed? What have you learned?' Those questions peaked my interested and I found myself wanting to return to them. I was, again, in their presence. I realized that my thoughts and feelings placed me in different pockets or layers of my reality I created for myself. But if I desired to be somewhere else and feel I deserve or was welcome there, then that's where I could go. When I was in the void I put myself, I thought I was hiding. But in truth, these beings could still see me; reach out and get my attention.
When asked, 'What have you learned?' I had learned quite a few lessons by age 10. The greatest lessons were that I ought to continue to choose to function in an unconditionally loving mindset even when my environment is not kind towards me. Otherwise, the negative environment could turn me bitter. The other lesson I had learned was to remain selfless. This does not mean that I let others walk all over me or put myself potential danger. Rather, I needed to consider others, my impact on them, and ways I could improve the environment to help. The last lesson was that my thoughts and intentions carry energy. This energy impacts the fabric of reality around me; these thought energies affect people, the Earth, my future, and etc. Each person has free-will to choose what energy they want to exist as, and that energy gets mixed with everyone else's energy; thus, the fabric of our reality is woven together. We do not exist separate from one another in our own realities, but rather we're bound together in our common human body experiences. Many people dangerously don't realize how their thoughts, which are energy, are impacting everyone else's reality and not just their own perception of reality. As spirits, we can become more distant from one another, but as humans in this experience, we are stuck experiencing the sum of everyone's manifestations.
We discussed more and somehow got onto the topic of how my dad, in another life, was my best friend; and my mom was my wife in another life. They even said my brother and a few of my siblings were our children. I had the understanding that all of these other lives were interwoven with my current life. All of the actions in one life impacted the actions I took in another. I guess that could be considered karma. Though, I felt that the life review was me experiencing the consequences of my actions as well. So, I would argue that the life review is karma and seeks to help us balance our energy and gain understanding and wisdom. I was curious about these other lives. I also felt that it would be useless to view all of them. I only viewed a couple lifetimes. It was really interesting to see all of the lives flowing at once; to see all of the experiences, lessons, and wisdom stored here ready for me to access at any given moment if I so desired.
Finally, he asked me, 'What do you want to do?' He could tell I wanted to stay but I also wanted to return. After learning these things about my mom, dad, and siblings, I didn't want them to miss me or be sad. I wanted to share this experience with them and with this knowledge enjoy the rest of their experience with them. I had the option to wait for them to return in spirit and we'd reunite that way. Another option was that while I waited for them to return in spirit, I could still visit them on Earth. I learned I could also explore the layers of our reality if I wanted. I could do other things as well but my desire to return was strongest. The desire to return to my body was so strong it kept me from being able to do anything else energetically. This wasn't me being held back against my will; it was my own energy/thoughts/intentions holding me back. With the intention to return, he began asking me questions of what I would like to do when I return. There was the understanding that my family would be okay if I didn't return, but that they'd also be okay if I did. Another understanding was that I had to have a good reason to return. So, it was agreed upon that my reasoning was that I desired the opportunity share this experience when necessary, feel unconditional love in this lifetime and share unconditional love. This apparently was a great reason to return.
I saw the other 2 large light beings get up and begin seemingly doing something to the ethereal river. I don't know what they were doing, but they went up to it and began peering into the river and looked like they were busy thinking. Then they turned their attention to me. The being next to me asked if I wanted to add anything else into my life. This planning and requesting process took a while. I'm not sure how long it could've taken though. There was the sense of time as in the ever present moment. There wasn't a sense of being rushed. There was an understanding that I could step back into my life at a point where I could rejoin with my body, heal, and begin my experience again. It was almost like time itself was a sort of tool that these beings could wield or work within.
I remember that there were two distinct events I requested to occur in my life. I wanted them both to happen at once. He told me that it wasn't possible for them to happen at once. One had to occur before the other. Therefore, I had to choose which one happened first. I don't recall what those two events would be, but I recall holding two rocks in my hands. My hands were glowing white-and-randomly-yellow as they manifested.
It was cool because in spirit, I could choose to appear however I wanted. The only thing I couldn't change was the fact that in spirit, I knew I could pick up on every else's authentic self; I could know when something was off or someone was trying to manipulate a situation. This was later validated more after I returned to my body and had the experience of meeting a spirit pretending to be kind but grew angry with my offer of kindness. I now have more comparisons to draw from, so this could be like when an often times rude or narcissistic human is pretending to be kind;, they can only pretend for so long before showing their true colors.
During the planning to return process, I learned that, before I was born, I was in spirit co-planning this very life with them. He shared with me that I had chosen my parents to be my parents. That my biological dad was not the dad who was raising me. That information surprised me but I wasn't upset because I loved my non-biological dad and knew from the life review that he saw me as one of his own children and loved me deeply.
The being went on to explain that I was made of the same energy as himself. I looked inwards and saw that he was correct. I told the being that I was worried about returning to my life because I didn't want to die a painful death. He told me that they would do their best to make sure I don't die a painful death but that there were a few choices left up to me to decide when I returned to my body. I didn't like the idea that regardless of all of this planning I couldn't just sit back, relax, and go with the flow of my life. I had to still be an active participant. I wasn't a puppet like I would've preferred. I exclaimed that I wasn't sure I would make all of the right choices and I could mess up. He said to stay open to contact with him and he would help guide me. He told me that I needed to be open to listening to them, otherwise I could potentially ignore or miss their messages. I see that this is a true statement because when I came back I could hear him speaking to me as if he were still with me. This went on for years. Eventually, I got distracted by life and started to live a very unhealthy lifestyle. I chose to live a healthier lifestyle after having my memory jogged by a song on the car radio that I never listened to but happened to listen to that day. My phone speakers magically weren't working but now did. I now know this must've been them interfering trying to get me to remember and be healthier. I heard him again and started to find guidance once more. So the way I choose to live my life dictates how close of a relationship I have with such loving, light beings.
He told me not to fear any sort of death because we are eternal beings. The human experience is merely a blip in comparison to our eternal conscious experience. So it's not something to dwell over or worry about as I have had many deaths as well. He offered that I could see what he called my 'other lives/experiences' but I declined; although, I was a little curious. I knew I could still look or request this information at any point in time.
Finally, it was time to return to my body. I understood he could not come back with me to my body, but would always be available to get in touch with. I somehow knew he could send his energy my way whenever necessary. This gave me a sense of comfort. Knowing I'm not alone.
He gestured to the river once more. I should probably describe further what this river now looked like. It had stones and boulders within it directing the current, directing the flow of energy. The river was directing events, experiences, and breaking down different possibilities. There in the stream, I could see potential futures and some futures that were certain. It was shared with me that everything follows a pattern. Things may shift to a new pattern, but they will still follow in a set of patterns. From my set of patterns, they can influence certain things throughout the possible future and some of these things can be certain to happen no matter the set of choices I make that lead to that event. Likewise, some events are more than likely to occur but can be avoided or skipped if a set of different experiences take place, leading me around the desired or undesired event. I then noticed a large boulder at the end of my timeline with energy flowing around it, and then on the far right I saw another large boulder. I realized that these boulders placed at the beginning and end of my timeline represented my birth and my next death. I also noticed that there was a huge boulder in my timeline that represented me returning to my body. This is what the light being was gesturing towards. I knew I was ready to return then. He informed me that to return, all I had to do was desire to return again.
When I paused and thought about the opportunity to live my life again, I felt my energy grow brighter and I felt joy and excitement. I zoomed straight back to my body. I found myself abruptly stop when I hovered above my body. It was strange because I still didn't identify with the body as being mine. However, I knew from this whole experience that it must be me. I had never really seen myself in the full 3D, 3rd person view before. My reflection in the mirror doesn't even come close to what it's like to see myself this way. There was a knowing that came over me that I had to touch my body anywhere to reenter.
As soon as I touched my body, it felt like I fell or was pulled downwards into a black, cold pool of water. I opened my eyes and my body felt heavy and cold. I knew I had to go downstairs and warm up near the one functioning furnace we had for the entire house. Luckily, after I told my dad about this experience he believed me. He made a point of installing 2 more furnaces throughout the house and fixing the 4th furnace in the basement.
I remember thinking that everything was beautiful because it was as if someone had turned up the 'saturation filter' on life.
After enjoying the bright, vivid colors of blue and white in my room, I wondered what my mom was cooking. Quickly, I zoomed down to where she was standing. I saw a bright, orange and white hue around her body. I wondered what she was thinking. I heard her say, 'cook food, go watch TV, cook food, go watch TV' but her mouth wasn't moving. I realized this was her intention, while stating her inner thoughts. It seemed cool to be able to hear her inner thoughts.
I wondered what my dad was thinking. With that thought, I zoomed through the house, across the yard, and into the barn next to where my dad was knelt down, milking a cow. I saw a humanoid shadow figure standing next to him that was startled by my presence. Seeing a humanoid shadow figure with no distinguishing features was a normal occurrence for me, so I didn't think much of that. The 1800's farm house was severely haunted and I would often feel playful nudges, see my toys tossed or moved around, and I would see an adult-sized human shadow-figure watching me sleep most nights. Our dog never wanted to be in my room for some reason. I always slept under my blankets so I couldn't see the figure watching me and I had all of my stuffed animals surrounding me as a barrier to keep me safe.
I noticed my dad's energy seemed to be nearly invisible or perhaps it was so low that I could barely make out what color his was. I heard his thoughts and they were so sad. Not wanting him to feel sad, I gave him a big hug. It was normal for my dad to be lost in thought and not acknowledge my hugs. It wasn't out of the ordinary for him to not hug me back. After hugging him, I noticed that my arms were glowing white. This didn't strike me as weird because everyone that I had been observing also had a color and a glow around them. I figured that the white was my color and my glow. Maybe it was just a cool skill I suddenly had now. I didn't think too deeply about it.
After hugging him, I heard his thoughts become more upbeat. I saw him turn his head to the right and say my name out loud as if he were wondering where I was. I was already right behind him, so I just kept standing there and waiting for him to give me a command or something. But the command never came and he went back to what he was doing. I figured he was in a better mood now and I could see the light around his body become a brighter orange, blue, and white mix. I happened to notice my sister was feeding the cows more hay. I didn't care to hear what her thoughts were because we never really got along at the time.
I wandered outside, but more slowly this time. I took in and appreciated the view of everything surrounding me. I was in awe with how extra-sparkly the snow was. There were more colors to the snow than I had ever seen before; yellows, pinks, reds, blues, greens, and etc. I wondered, 'What makes it so sparkly?' At that point I somehow became 'one with the snow.' I found myself surrounded in a void of blackness and all around me were particles of different colored lights popping in and out, in different locations. The understanding came to me that, 'These are the colors that make the snow. These colors make everything you see.' That was a cool fact, but I had the intention of wanting to explore more than the snow.
With that thought, I found myself standing back where I had been over the snow. I turned my attention to the night sky. The night sky was brighter than I had ever seen it before. The moon often grabbed my focus as a child and still does today as an adult. It was normal for me to observe the moon and stars and wonder what it would be like to live there. I remember seeing a cartoon where Wallace and Gromit went to the moon and ate cheese. With the desire to see the moon, I found myself being pulled towards the moon. I had brought this thought on myself, so I propelled myself there. I was moving so fast. It seemed like I was going through a tunnel, but everything was quickly warping around me.
Suddenly, I found myself in a crater on the moon. I was blown away at how much brighter space was and especially how bright the moon itself was. From Earth, I always assumed that space and the moon wouldn't be so full of light. I was blown away by the size of the crater I was in.
After what seemed like a few minutes in our time, I felt the presence of someone to my right side. I turned my attention and focus to my right and saw 3 large humanoid beings. They didn't have distinguishing features on their faces. They appeared as having large cloaks that went down to where their feet would be. They had arms and faces; but again, no features besides being made of white, flowing light. Even their robe seemed to be part of their 'body' and was also white, flowing light. They were probably the size of a sky scraper because I was so small in the bottom of the crater, yet there they were, sitting on the edge of the crater and their 'legs' could reach the bottom. They appeared to have a regular pair of wings that was made of the same energy as their bodies. Being in their presence was like that of being in the presence of an unconditionally loving parent.
It also felt like they were excited to see me (again?) but they didn't want to approach me quickly because I might have fled. These beings knew they had to hold my attention and focus to keep me with them so they could help me. I had a feeling they wanted to interact with me. I wondered who they were. Then one of the 3 stood up and slowly made their way over to me. It had a deep, masculine voice and powerful presence. He was still so tall next to me. It somehow either shrunk or maybe I had assumed they were really big. He didn't label himself as anything or anyone. He was there to guide me and offer information, support, and safety. The way he viewed me and loved me was the way that I view and love perhaps my favorite dog, or my own children. This love is unconditional, as if I could do no wrong even if I had done something wrong. I felt like he was looking at me like when I do something bad, it was just because I was misled and/or I didn't know any better due to my circumstances. This took me by surprise to learn such a unique way of viewing others.
'What did you think of your life?' was the first thing this loving, light being asked. I began to complain about everything a 10 year old could possibly complain about. When I finished, he asked, 'What have you learned?' I paused for a while; confused that I didn't realize I was supposed to be learning anything. Finally, I gave him a few answers I could think of off the top of my head. Then he gestured towards an ethereal river that was made of different strands of white and blue energy, all compiled together. There were sparkles of other colors within the river but it maintained, at all times, light blue and white light flowing from the right to the left in front of us.
We both approached the river and I peered into it. I realized that it was showing me different situations playing out. I had a feeling that I ought to observe further and that I was meant to judge, learn, and share my knowledge from these different situations with these light beings. It was then that experiences from my childhood popped up in front of me as if they were on a large holographic screen. I began to watch these experiences from third person view as if they were someone else's life. I hadn't yet at this point realized these were my experiences playing out before me. As I watched, I felt curious as to why each person was doing what they were doing. With that intention of wanting to understand, I found myself beginning to feel the emotions of each person and the impact of each emotion on each person. Some of the emotions were so strong they could be confused for physical sensations like that of pain. I also felt the way that I had made animals or bugs feel.
This later on after my NDE, would lead me to have trouble dealing with bugs because I didn't want to hurt them but I didn't want them near me.
After viewing these experiences, they returned to the river and were no longer in front and all around me. By the end of the experience, I believe I had finally caught on that it was my life I was reviewing. At one point, I was embarrassed by something I had seen myself do in the life review. I wanted to hide from the loving, light being. I found myself being pulled seemingly downwards or being surrounded by blackness. It was like I was in a void and the loving, light being became a prick of light in front of me. I heard him ask, 'What are you doing? Why are you embarrassed? What have you learned?' Those questions peaked my interested and I found myself wanting to return to them. I was, again, in their presence. I realized that my thoughts and feelings placed me in different pockets or layers of my reality I created for myself. But if I desired to be somewhere else and feel I deserve or was welcome there, then that's where I could go. When I was in the void I put myself, I thought I was hiding. But in truth, these beings could still see me; reach out and get my attention.
When asked, 'What have you learned?' I had learned quite a few lessons by age 10. The greatest lessons were that I ought to continue to choose to function in an unconditionally loving mindset even when my environment is not kind towards me. Otherwise, the negative environment could turn me bitter. The other lesson I had learned was to remain selfless. This does not mean that I let others walk all over me or put myself potential danger. Rather, I needed to consider others, my impact on them, and ways I could improve the environment to help. The last lesson was that my thoughts and intentions carry energy. This energy impacts the fabric of reality around me; these thought energies affect people, the Earth, my future, and etc. Each person has free-will to choose what energy they want to exist as, and that energy gets mixed with everyone else's energy; thus, the fabric of our reality is woven together. We do not exist separate from one another in our own realities, but rather we're bound together in our common human body experiences. Many people dangerously don't realize how their thoughts, which are energy, are impacting everyone else's reality and not just their own perception of reality. As spirits, we can become more distant from one another, but as humans in this experience, we are stuck experiencing the sum of everyone's manifestations.
We discussed more and somehow got onto the topic of how my dad, in another life, was my best friend; and my mom was my wife in another life. They even said my brother and a few of my siblings were our children. I had the understanding that all of these other lives were interwoven with my current life. All of the actions in one life impacted the actions I took in another. I guess that could be considered karma. Though, I felt that the life review was me experiencing the consequences of my actions as well. So, I would argue that the life review is karma and seeks to help us balance our energy and gain understanding and wisdom. I was curious about these other lives. I also felt that it would be useless to view all of them. I only viewed a couple lifetimes. It was really interesting to see all of the lives flowing at once; to see all of the experiences, lessons, and wisdom stored here ready for me to access at any given moment if I so desired.
Finally, he asked me, 'What do you want to do?' He could tell I wanted to stay but I also wanted to return. After learning these things about my mom, dad, and siblings, I didn't want them to miss me or be sad. I wanted to share this experience with them and with this knowledge enjoy the rest of their experience with them. I had the option to wait for them to return in spirit and we'd reunite that way. Another option was that while I waited for them to return in spirit, I could still visit them on Earth. I learned I could also explore the layers of our reality if I wanted. I could do other things as well but my desire to return was strongest. The desire to return to my body was so strong it kept me from being able to do anything else energetically. This wasn't me being held back against my will; it was my own energy/thoughts/intentions holding me back. With the intention to return, he began asking me questions of what I would like to do when I return. There was the understanding that my family would be okay if I didn't return, but that they'd also be okay if I did. Another understanding was that I had to have a good reason to return. So, it was agreed upon that my reasoning was that I desired the opportunity share this experience when necessary, feel unconditional love in this lifetime and share unconditional love. This apparently was a great reason to return.
I saw the other 2 large light beings get up and begin seemingly doing something to the ethereal river. I don't know what they were doing, but they went up to it and began peering into the river and looked like they were busy thinking. Then they turned their attention to me. The being next to me asked if I wanted to add anything else into my life. This planning and requesting process took a while. I'm not sure how long it could've taken though. There was the sense of time as in the ever present moment. There wasn't a sense of being rushed. There was an understanding that I could step back into my life at a point where I could rejoin with my body, heal, and begin my experience again. It was almost like time itself was a sort of tool that these beings could wield or work within.
I remember that there were two distinct events I requested to occur in my life. I wanted them both to happen at once. He told me that it wasn't possible for them to happen at once. One had to occur before the other. Therefore, I had to choose which one happened first. I don't recall what those two events would be, but I recall holding two rocks in my hands. My hands were glowing white-and-randomly-yellow as they manifested.
It was cool because in spirit, I could choose to appear however I wanted. The only thing I couldn't change was the fact that in spirit, I knew I could pick up on every else's authentic self; I could know when something was off or someone was trying to manipulate a situation. This was later validated more after I returned to my body and had the experience of meeting a spirit pretending to be kind but grew angry with my offer of kindness. I now have more comparisons to draw from, so this could be like when an often times rude or narcissistic human is pretending to be kind;, they can only pretend for so long before showing their true colors.
During the planning to return process, I learned that, before I was born, I was in spirit co-planning this very life with them. He shared with me that I had chosen my parents to be my parents. That my biological dad was not the dad who was raising me. That information surprised me but I wasn't upset because I loved my non-biological dad and knew from the life review that he saw me as one of his own children and loved me deeply.
The being went on to explain that I was made of the same energy as himself. I looked inwards and saw that he was correct. I told the being that I was worried about returning to my life because I didn't want to die a painful death. He told me that they would do their best to make sure I don't die a painful death but that there were a few choices left up to me to decide when I returned to my body. I didn't like the idea that regardless of all of this planning I couldn't just sit back, relax, and go with the flow of my life. I had to still be an active participant. I wasn't a puppet like I would've preferred. I exclaimed that I wasn't sure I would make all of the right choices and I could mess up. He said to stay open to contact with him and he would help guide me. He told me that I needed to be open to listening to them, otherwise I could potentially ignore or miss their messages. I see that this is a true statement because when I came back I could hear him speaking to me as if he were still with me. This went on for years. Eventually, I got distracted by life and started to live a very unhealthy lifestyle. I chose to live a healthier lifestyle after having my memory jogged by a song on the car radio that I never listened to but happened to listen to that day. My phone speakers magically weren't working but now did. I now know this must've been them interfering trying to get me to remember and be healthier. I heard him again and started to find guidance once more. So the way I choose to live my life dictates how close of a relationship I have with such loving, light beings.
He told me not to fear any sort of death because we are eternal beings. The human experience is merely a blip in comparison to our eternal conscious experience. So it's not something to dwell over or worry about as I have had many deaths as well. He offered that I could see what he called my 'other lives/experiences' but I declined; although, I was a little curious. I knew I could still look or request this information at any point in time.
Finally, it was time to return to my body. I understood he could not come back with me to my body, but would always be available to get in touch with. I somehow knew he could send his energy my way whenever necessary. This gave me a sense of comfort. Knowing I'm not alone.
He gestured to the river once more. I should probably describe further what this river now looked like. It had stones and boulders within it directing the current, directing the flow of energy. The river was directing events, experiences, and breaking down different possibilities. There in the stream, I could see potential futures and some futures that were certain. It was shared with me that everything follows a pattern. Things may shift to a new pattern, but they will still follow in a set of patterns. From my set of patterns, they can influence certain things throughout the possible future and some of these things can be certain to happen no matter the set of choices I make that lead to that event. Likewise, some events are more than likely to occur but can be avoided or skipped if a set of different experiences take place, leading me around the desired or undesired event. I then noticed a large boulder at the end of my timeline with energy flowing around it, and then on the far right I saw another large boulder. I realized that these boulders placed at the beginning and end of my timeline represented my birth and my next death. I also noticed that there was a huge boulder in my timeline that represented me returning to my body. This is what the light being was gesturing towards. I knew I was ready to return then. He informed me that to return, all I had to do was desire to return again.
When I paused and thought about the opportunity to live my life again, I felt my energy grow brighter and I felt joy and excitement. I zoomed straight back to my body. I found myself abruptly stop when I hovered above my body. It was strange because I still didn't identify with the body as being mine. However, I knew from this whole experience that it must be me. I had never really seen myself in the full 3D, 3rd person view before. My reflection in the mirror doesn't even come close to what it's like to see myself this way. There was a knowing that came over me that I had to touch my body anywhere to reenter.
As soon as I touched my body, it felt like I fell or was pulled downwards into a black, cold pool of water. I opened my eyes and my body felt heavy and cold. I knew I had to go downstairs and warm up near the one functioning furnace we had for the entire house. Luckily, after I told my dad about this experience he believed me. He made a point of installing 2 more furnaces throughout the house and fixing the 4th furnace in the basement.
Gender:
Female
Date NDE Occurred:
2007
NDE Elements
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event?
Yes hypothermia caused heart to stop Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
My heart stopped because of hypothermia.
How do you consider the content of your experience?
Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body?
Uncertain Not sure what 'earthly events that were occurring during your experience' means. But, I knew what my parents and sister were doing.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal. It was just like my normal consciousness and alertness except if I chose to, I could observe in 360 or I could 'become one' with an object. For example, I wondered what made snow so sparkly and suddenly I was as small as a particle and observing particles popping in and out all around me. Most of the time it was like my normal consciousness and alertness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
As soon as I 'sat up' out of my body.
Were your thoughts speeded up?
No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Time was experienced different depending upon where in my experience I was. For example, near the end of my experience 'time' seemed more like a tool or something that myself and these beings of light were not bound to certain aspects of time. Some moments we flowed with 'time' and some other moments like when we were staring at my timeline as if it were a 2D sort of ethereal river in front of us constantly flowing from right to left, it felt like I could step into the flow of it and experience a sense of time passing. I guess time was present but it was as if it were not applicable to us. For example, when I worried that my body would be dead for too long they said I didn't have to worry because I could just reenter into the stream at a certain point in time and I'd be reunited with my body.
Were your senses more vivid than usual?
Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience
It was the same, however I could see people's auras which was fascinating. Looking at my initial surroundings was beautiful. It was as if someone had turned up the 'saturation filter' on life.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience
As far as I remember it was the same. I only heard what I put my focus on. Though I'm sure (and assuming) that if I were located somewhere busier I could hear my surroundings as normal.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere?
No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel?
Uncertain I was moving so fast it was like I was in a tunnel as everything warped around me.
Did you see any beings in your experience?
I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
Yes I had no understanding of a relation to the shadow person I saw bothering my dad.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light?
No
Did you see an unearthly light?
Yes The beings I saw were made of light. Also, when I saw what I assume were the auras around my family members, animals, and the trees.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I went to the moon. Then from the moon, I don't know where I went with these beings but it had to be some other dimension because we could see my earth life as if it were a 2d hologram in front of us.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Mostly peaceful and very curious. Occasionally I felt embarrassed or worried, but these emotions were quickly changed back to peaceful when I was comforted by the answers that the beings gave me.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness?
Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy?
Incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe?
I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about myself or others They didn't give me any information that I did not seek. I was only given information that I was either ready to receive, or that I wanted the answer to. For example, they explained my 'other lives' with my parents, but I never cared to ask about my sister and if she and I had other lives together.
Did scenes from your past come back to you?
My past flashed before me, out of my control I had past events shown to me that I didn't remember. They were verified to be true by my parents. Including that I learned that the father raising me was my non-biological father.
Did scenes from the future come to you?
Scenes from my personal future I got to see different possible futures and some certain 'set in stone' futures. I learned that our Earthly human reality is the sum of everyone's manifestations whether we like it or not.
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I didn't have to return if I didn't want to. I had many options and this was surprising and exciting for me. I wanted to do all of the options at once but they helped me choose what I wanted to do. I came to the conclusion that I was excited to return to my body and my own desire to return was stronger than my desire to stay. At that point, I understood that because my energy was hooked on returning, I could no longer stay where I was.
God, Spiritual and Religion
What was your religion prior to your experience?
No comment I didn't believe in anything. I thought religion was a silly thing.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience?
Yes I have my spiritual connection to the divine as anyone is capable of having themselves.
What is your religion now?
No comment I consider myself spiritual and have my own connection with the divine. I do not follow any one religion.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs?
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had seen pictures of supposed 'angels' before. When I saw the 3 large beings I didn't assume they were angels at first. Though that's what they looked like. What they did and talked about with me wasn't anything I ever expected or had learned before. I think it's important to note that I never realized I was dead. Even being on the moon, I didn't think anything of it. I just went with the flow of things and enjoyed what was going on in the present moment.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience?
Yes I met new people I wouldn't have otherwise met. There are many mindset shifts that took place because of the plan that we put in place together.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There were three large beings made of flowing white light. They had humanoid figures, but no distinguishable features like eyes, nose, mouth, ears. They had a head, arms, and hands. They had white robes that looked to be part of their body or made from the same energy they were made up of. The robes went down to where their feet would've been. I saw no legs or feet for that reason. They had two wings coming out of their backs. Also made of the same flowing white energy with no feathers. They gracefully moved forwards and backwards. The two stayed back while one came up to me to talk. They had no distinguishable genders but the one who talked to me had a deep masculine voice and powerful, unconditionally loving, protective, welcoming presence.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits?
I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc?)
No
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God?
Uncertain. When they informed me that I had 'other lives' they didn't tell me if they were PAST LIVES or PARALLEL LIVES or ALTERNATE LIVES. They merely called them my other lives. I learned that what we do in one life impacts our experience in this one, etc.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness?
Yes We are made of the same energy these beings are made up of. Also in the human experience, our 'reality' is the sum of everyone's manifestations.
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God?
Uncertain I met the three beings who said they had previously co-created this current life with me. They also co-planned the return to my body. We shared the same energy and my life was created by them. So in a way I view them as God Like. They never labeled themselves. I felt as though I was in the presence of something great and powerful and loving. I don't know if they are 'workers' or God or what. I never asked about God or anything like that. It seemed unnecessary.
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose?
Uncertain It's not necessary to know our purpose for coming here. Though it can be helpful. Even knowing a purpose, I still got distracted by a 'materialistic' life for a few years before snapping out of it after being bombarded by spiritual events I couldn't keep running from.
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life?
Yes When I wanted to return, I had to have a good reason. I said I wanted to experience giving and receiving unconditional love. They said the energy of love is a good reason to return. It was clear that I couldn't just return because I wanted to.
During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife?
Yes Of course. I not only saw my 'other lives' (as they were called by the light being) but I was told by the light being that we do not need to fear death because we are eternal conscious energy and we cannot be killed.
Did you gain information about how to live our lives?
Uncertain There is a lot and it would take a while to share all of it but I'll do my best to share some more here that I can remember off the top of my head. There's an emphasis on thoughts. Since thoughts are energy and can create and shape our reality. Choose good thoughts. Understand duality, where there's bad there can be good. The good in the bad is often a lesson we can learn and grow from. Know that we are not alone and can ask for protection or guidance when we feel open to it.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships?
Yes As spirits we come here with a mission or goal in mind and a plan mostly in place. We can be misled or distracted along the way. Again, our reality on Earth is the sum of everyone's manifestations. We bring our own energy to the mix and make an impact that way.
During your experience, did you gain information about love?
Yes It was the reason for my return. I couldn't return just because I wanted to. To receive and give the creative and healing energy of love seemed to be the reason to return.
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience?
Large changes in my life *I saw more spirits
*Felt others' energy before realizing whose energy I was feeling
*Telepathy with those I am emotionally connected with
*Precognitive dreams as well as visions
*Sometimes I get information from them in the way of numbers that flash in my mind's eye, music, or phrases. Sometimes gut feelings but I don't rely on gut feelings and I often second guess the gut feeling.
*I can send and receive energy when I have an elevated emotion and want to share it with someone.
I assume these are all things that other people can do too if they just practiced and were consistent. Not just because I had an nde. For example, I saw spirits before I had my nde.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes Have lost some friends and family but have gained others.
After the NDE
Was the experience difficult to express in words?
Uncertain When it gets to what the beings and I discussed that's when things get tough to explain. It's hard to remember every single thing we talked about. But when I sit down and can write out a whole list of lessons and information I learned from the experience it gets easier. I did that once and I think it took me nearly an hour and a half to write down every lesson I had learned from this experience. I could write a book just based on the lessons learned and the information that was exchanged with the being of light. I tried to summarize my experience as best I could for this document.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?
I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience After the experience was when I began to have my precognitive dreams and visions as well as hear them guide me throughout my day.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?
Yes *I saw more spirits
*Felt others' energy before realizing whose energy I was feeling
*Telepathy with those I am emotionally connected with
*Precognitive dreams as well as visions
*Sometimes I get information from them in the way of numbers that flash in my mind's eye, music, or phrases. Sometimes gut feelings but I don't rely on gut feelings and I often second guess the gut feeling.
*I can send and receive energy when I have an elevated emotion and want to share it with someone.
I assume these are all things that other people can do too if they just practiced and were consistent. Not just because I had an NDE. For example, I saw spirits before I had my nde.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Please explain.
The entire experience I had with the 3 beings.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes I told my parents after a few months when I heard the song 'angels on the moon' play on the radio and it jogged my memory to tell them. At that point my mom believed me until she heard that there were 'other lives' and she refused to believe my experience. She was held in a box by her religious views which made me sad. But, my dad believed me. He knew that I must have interacted with him in spirit because he told me he felt my presence as if I were standing next to him and that's why he had looked for me. Plus, there were the memories that were confirmed by my parents that they told me I shouldn't be able to remember because 'you were less than a year old.' It was also confirmed that my dad was indeed not my biological dad. My mom didn't want to admit that for the longest time though out of embarrassment.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened?
Experience was definitely real It felt crazy and wild and I didn't know how to explain it but I knew it really happened, but I just didn't know what it was or how or why it happened. I didn't know what could've killed me. I didn't know that being cold could kill me or cause those symptoms. I didn't know why my heart was hurting and I couldn't move my arms etc. Of course, I knew being cold meant not being able to move my hands as freely but I didn't realize it was what had led to my death.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now?
Experience was definitely real I understand it was real. I'm consistently bombarded by spiritual occurrences in my everyday life to confirm.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?
Uncertain I willed myself to Astral Project and when I popped out of my body it was the exact same as when I had died. For a moment I worried that I had died but then remembered that I willed myself out of my body to go and ask the light beings more questions.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
Unsure. The questions were good as far as I recall.