Nicole G

On July 13, 2023, I was rushing to make a weights class at my local gym. I was 51 years old and was determined to do a 'Fit in my 50s' program. I had subjected myself to training in some form, 5 times per week, as well as working full-time. I was tired that morning and it was my third day in a row training. I recall being late to the class. So, I snuck in and had to set up my step and weights bar at the very front of the room, to the side where nobody really wants to go. A man, who was a regular in the class, came in even later than me. He ended up in front of me, nearly up to the front mirrors. It was a full class. We did our 5-minute warm up and then we put on the heaviest weights of the class for the squat track. I recall my legs being fatigued already and feeling reflux pain in my throat. I had been trying to wean myself off my reflux medication prescribed by my gastroenterologist and trying to take it every third day. I made a mental note to self that this wasn't working, and I should take it when I get home. The next set was chest press whilst lying down on the step/bench. I crouched down, adjusted my weights, lay back on the step and put my arms in the air with my weights bar overhead. I was waiting for the music to start. That is the last thing I remember happening in that room. Then, I was standing near what looked like a long reception desk for a hotel or office. I was standing like someone would be standing in a dream; such as not really aware that I have a body or that my feet were on the ground. I was just watching something. Everything was a white/gold including the floor, the reception desk, the the walls. The long desk ended at a vertical wall to my left. To the right of the desk was a door that people would slowly wander through. They would walk right past the desk, between myself and the desk. There was a guy and girl behind the desk. He was nearly up to the wall and listening to her tell a story. They were laughing and chatting. I had a sense that I wasn't facing straight on, but that I was turned towards whatever was to the left of me slightly. My head was looking at the people behind the desk. At the same time as writing this, I find it hard to describe as I didn't actually feel like I had a body. I was in a dream state, but simultaneously knowing that this was the way my posture was. I felt such an encompassing feeling of calm. It was so wonderful just watching these people. I suddenly heard a female voice to my left who sternly yelled my name, 'NIKKI!' 'No,' I thought, 'Later. I am not going anywhere, they can wait.' This is too calm and nice, and I am enjoying myself too much. I kept watching. I saw the girl leaving the desk, and then run back to the guy as their whole demeanor changed. She was telling him something urgent. Then she ran out from behind the desk and ran to my left. The trickle of people that were wandering through the door to the right suddenly became many more hurrying people. Something is up, I was thinking. The guy stayed behind the desk but he looked. I could feel that he was worried and curious at the same time. He leaned over the desk towards the left to see if he could see anything but he didn't leave the desk. I also heard a male, authoritative but kind voice, telling me that, 'It isn't your time. You must go back.' At some point I saw a man wearing a brown hat like they used to in the 1940s and I knew that it was his voice. I was disappointed that it was not my father's voice. I didn't recognize him or his voice but I knew that he knew me. I couldn't see him properly, like when there is light behind someone such that their face in in shadow. I am not sure when in the sequence of standing in front of the desk happened. It was like it was happening at the same time. Time didn't seem to be relevant and trying to write this down and make it linear doesn't make sense. All I can say is that these events happened and that I cannot put an order of time to them. Then I was trying to open my eyes but I couldn't see properly; I was rolling my eyes around trying to see. I heard awful groaning noises and realized that they were coming from me. I got scared and tried to yell. I could sense that there were a lot of people standing over me and sternly calling my name. They were in control and looking after me. I looked up at the ceiling and wondered what recovery ward I was in and why I couldn't remember what procedure I had. At some point, a woman was leaning over me and asked me if I knew where I was. I shook my head, 'No.' She then asks me what my name was, and I tried to say my name but it felt like my mouth was full of mud. But I managed to say, 'Nikki.' I heard an audible sigh of relief from a woman on my left. It turns out she was a gym member who had been holding my hand the whole time that I was receiving CPR and being shocked by the AED. The man who was in front of me was a retired doctor who had been head of an emergency department of a major public hospital here in Sydney for more than a decade. The man behind me was a vet who is a serial-saver and I was the third person that he had attempted to resuscitate today. I have given him a score of 2 out of 3 success rates. So, this gives me the sense that I was definitely meant to be here. This, plus the fact that the chest set was supposed to go for 5 minutes and nobody noticed me lying there purple, with no pulse. Then the instructor decided to vary it that day and told everyone to get up after 90 seconds and do pushups. She noticed that I didn't move. In hospital I kept asking questions. I wanted to know about the reception desk, whether there is a white desk that I rolled past in the hospital, and where was this reception desk? Nobody had any idea what I was talking about. As I was taken in through the emergency room where there is no desk. I had time to think in the hospital. It took a while to get diagnosed with a rare heart condition. I went back to the gym a couple of months later to test out my theory and stood in front of their reception desk from a certain angle. I wasn't convinced, because from that angle I was standing, I would have seen a rowing machine and the like in front of me. That is not where I had been.