Kathy S

I will share a few experiences. This is a little long. At the time of the first experience, I was working as an assistant manager for a restaurant chain. My husband was the manager. We were good at helping turn around stores that were in trouble or had issues. We had been transferred to Rehoboth Beach. When I first moved there, I worked for months without a day off, sometimes two shifts a day. I was extremely depressed and exhausted. I was really tired of working for this chain. I felt incredibly guilty because I had a young son, whom I had given birth to at 15. I felt like I never saw him. I begged my husband to let me quit, but he said we couldn’t afford it. Eventually, the depression grew so severe that I wanted to leave this world. Before going to sleep every night, I would beg Jesus, "Please take me. I hate it here." Finally, I decided Jesus wasn’t responding, so I was going to take my own life. I didn’t want anyone to catch me in the act because they might stop me. (I wasn’t thinking about my son, I’m not sure why.) I planned to check into a hotel, pay for three days upfront, tell them not to disturb me, and slit my wrists. The night before my planned attempt, I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I was about to put toothpaste on my toothbrush, I felt nauseated for a split second. Then, I was in another place with Jesus. I knew this being had always been with me on earth and still is. I didn’t see him, or perhaps I’m not allowed to remember. But I had no doubt it was Jesus. It felt like he was to my right. The only thing I remember about the atmosphere was darkness. I don’t know if I’m blocked from remembering the place or if it was truly just darkness. But I know for certain it was somewhere I had been before I was born on earth. I was in a physical form because I was shaking. Later, I wondered why, since I wasn’t afraid at all. Now I think it might have been vibrations, like people experience during an out-of-body experience. I kept repeating, "I hate it there. Please don’t make me go back." Describing the communication is difficult. Imagine wanting to explain something to someone but being unable to because your understanding is shaped by years of experience. Then imagine if they could grasp the entire concept instantly, as if they had lived it themselves. Now consider hearing a story about someone’s past, then suddenly being immersed in their memory, experiencing it from their perspective. These examples help, but they don’t fully capture it. You just "know." The being didn’t speak words, or maybe I’m not allowed to remember them. I projected my thoughts with words, and behind those words, everything was shared at once. The being was infinitely patient and at peace. I could have stayed there forever, and he would have waited for me to express everything. Then, I found myself in my son’s bedroom. Seeing him asleep, I said, "Oh yeah, Michael. I have to go back." The moment I made that choice, I was back in my body. My husband was patting my face, asking if I wanted to go to the hospital. I said, "No, I’m fine." The depression and suicidal thoughts vanished. I didn’t tell my husband about it for years. When I did, he said he wasn’t sure he believed me because nothing like that had ever happened to him. The other two experiences were recent. I wish I could communicate as I did with the being, but years passed between them. About a year ago, I was in the bathroom near the shower. The weight of injustice in the world brought me to my knees in sadness and despair. After leaving the bathroom, I sat on the couch with a sudden knowing. This was a turning point, time for an awakening. I also sensed I had completed something I was meant to learn in this life. Later, I came across a YouTube interview with someone who had out-of-body experiences since childhood. I won’t mention their name, but I learned their method and decided to try it. I told my husband, though I was nervous about sleep paralysis, which sometimes makes it feel like you can’t breathe. One night while he was playing video games in his office, I attempted it. One moment I was in bed, the next, I was opening my eyes on the couch. At first, I was confused. Did I fall asleep there? Then I remembered trying the method and thought, "This is really happening." I questioned if it was a dream, but it felt exactly like being awake. Someone had said commanding full consciousness in a dream could solidify the out-of-body state, so I said, "I command to be fully conscious here." Immediately, I was back in bed. There was no transition, just instant movement. My husband was entering the room, so I don’t know if he pulled me back or if my command did. I kicked my legs in frustration. The next night, I tried again. After some time, I grew impatient, turned onto my left side, and suddenly found myself on the couch, in the same position. This time I knew right away I was out of body. It was brief. I started to stand but was back in bed before fully rising. My husband walked in again. I flailed my arms, annoyed. Since then, I haven’t been able to repeat it. But I know now death isn’t real. I understand how someone could die and not realize it. It felt exactly like being awake.