Ervaringsbeschrijving
1995 - In the intensive care unit, curtain surrounding the bathroom area, light began emitting from behind the curtain (sort of 'Wizard of Oz'-like - no noise, just light and vibration). Knew a presence wished to come into room. Knew by the indescribable quality and feeling of light it was God, as I know him. I asked him 'not now', please my children (I am single parent of two, one disabled through leukemia at four, no family but me. I asked for more time, responsibility of visit too frightening. He/she/it immediately acquiesced. I always regretted it.
April 2000. Went for routine bypass surgery. Not so routine. Hemorrhagic disorder. Woke up forty-five days later after being on respirator and had many, many experiences, journeys, including 'waking' during one of the three surgeries, unable to open my eyes, found out later because they were taped shut, tried to wiggle so anesthesiologist could put me further under. No pain just watched procedure and heard every word uttered in the operating room including countdown of 'clock' well over seven minutes. Too real to continue watching so traveled through one of those lovely cracks to a place I think was made of alabaster with many pools and gardens. Did life review, quite interesting - 'tended to, taught, loved and replenished', more travel. In November 2000 had respiratory then cardiac arrest.
Tunnel, dark, rounded like a big drainage pipe. Smiling faces in shadows of the walls. 'Knew' every one of them, have no idea how. Light at other end. Same God light. My 'Nana' between the light and myself. Wanted her SO bad, needed her even more. No talking by mouth. Just let me know not my time unless I chose it. Suggested I didn't. Showed me my daughter. Asked for strength. Woke up, came home.
April 2000. Went for routine bypass surgery. Not so routine. Hemorrhagic disorder. Woke up forty-five days later after being on respirator and had many, many experiences, journeys, including 'waking' during one of the three surgeries, unable to open my eyes, found out later because they were taped shut, tried to wiggle so anesthesiologist could put me further under. No pain just watched procedure and heard every word uttered in the operating room including countdown of 'clock' well over seven minutes. Too real to continue watching so traveled through one of those lovely cracks to a place I think was made of alabaster with many pools and gardens. Did life review, quite interesting - 'tended to, taught, loved and replenished', more travel. In November 2000 had respiratory then cardiac arrest.
Tunnel, dark, rounded like a big drainage pipe. Smiling faces in shadows of the walls. 'Knew' every one of them, have no idea how. Light at other end. Same God light. My 'Nana' between the light and myself. Wanted her SO bad, needed her even more. No talking by mouth. Just let me know not my time unless I chose it. Suggested I didn't. Showed me my daughter. Asked for strength. Woke up, came home.
Achtergrondinformatie
Gender:
Female
Date NDE Occurred:
(2) in 2000
NDE-elementen
Was er op het moment van uw ervaring een levensbedreigend voorval?
Yes Heart attack Open heart surgery, 3 open hearts in three days in April and In November Complete cardiac and respiratory arrest due to CHF Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Had heart attack in 1995. Had experience in the intensive care unit but willed it away, too scary, always regretted it but had children who needed me. In 2005 had multiple bypass, which did not go well, three open heart surgeries in three days due to hemorrhaging. On respirator for forty-five days. Many journeys and experiences throughout that period in April/May. In November had complete respiratory and cardiac arrest. Another experience.
Hoe beschouwt u de inhoud van uw ervaring?
Mixed
Voelde je je gescheiden van je lichaam?
Yes
I lost awareness of my body
Hoe vergeleek uw hoogste niveau van bewustzijn en waakzaamheid tijdens de ervaring met uw normale dagelijkse bewustzijn en waakzaamheid?
More consciousness and alertness than normal It was much more real. I know that doesn't make much sense.
Op welk moment tijdens de ervaring was uw bewustzijns- en waakzaamheidsniveau het hoogst?
In presence of the main God, light, vibration. But most of all in tunnel when choice had to be made. I was tired.
Waren uw gedachten versneld?
Neither
Leek de tijd sneller te gaan of langzamer?
Neither I have what I call 'Swiss cheese for brains'. Some things are missing or dropped.
Waren je zintuigen levendiger dan normaal?
Neither
Vergelijk uw zicht tijdens de ervaring met uw dagelijkse zicht onmiddellijk voorafgaand aan de tijd van de ervaring
Colors perfect, things and places seen without flaw, almost undisturbed. Every petal of every flower perfect. No decay of any kind. Transparency somehow changed and music without time. Couldn't explain that one in a million years wouldn't know where to begin.
Vergelijk uw gehoor tijdens de ervaring met uw dagelijkse gehoor onmiddellijk voorafgaand aan de tijd van de ervaring
It was hearing but not auditory exactly all the time.
Had u de indruk dat u zich bewust was van wat er elders gebeurde?
Neither
Bent u door een tunnel gegaan?
Yes Already described.
Zag u wezens in uw ervaring?
Saw them
Heeft u overleden (of levende) wezens ontmoet of ervan bewust geworden?
Yes Already described.
Heeft u een schitterend licht gezien of voelde u zich eromheen omringd?
A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Heeft u een onaards licht gezien?
Yes Already described.
Leek u een andere, onaardse wereld te betreden?
Clearly mystical or unearthly realm already described some. many more, lots of travel and sights
Welke andere emoties voelde je tijdens de ervaring?
Wonder, joy, fear, trust, grateful, small, big, powerful, powerless, amazed, graced, light, open, peaceful, inquisitive and loved and loving. Perfectly in tune.
Had je een gevoel van vrede of aangenaamheid?
Incredible peace or pleasantness
Had je een gevoel van vreugde?
Incredible joy
Voelde je een gevoel van harmonie of eenheid met het universum?
United, one with the world
Leek je plotseling alles te begrijpen?
Everything about the universe
Komen er scènes uit uw verleden naar boven?
Remembered many past events Life review takes place through the feelings and emotions of others in any given moment in time. We experience and feel whatever we created in that moment for them. I am much more sensitive.
Kwamen er scènes uit de toekomst tot je?
From the world's future
Very private.
Kwam je bij een grens of punt van geen terugkeer?
A conscious decision to 'return' to life
God, Spiritualiteit en Religie
Wat was uw religie voor uw ervaring?
Moderate Raised catholic, believe in collective unconscious, a higher power have had unusual, unexplainable experiences throughout life making conservative organized religious experience not acceptable.
Zijn uw religieuze praktijken veranderd sinds uw ervaring?
Uncertain While in many ways the information and experience was powerful and informing, I know less and less as the days roll on. Not that I am loosing information or experience. Just different.
Wat is nu uw religie?
Liberal Have conscious contact w/ higher power daily, pray and meditate daily, use Native American Medicine Wheel for healing/teaching. Use ancient esoteric teachings from stones crystals given by Native American grandma turned good catholic when she was a young
Had u een verandering in uw waarden en overtuigingen vanwege uw ervaring?
Uncertain While in many ways the information and experience was powerful and informing, I know less and less as the days roll on. Not that I am loosing information or experience. Just different.
Leek u een mystiek wezen of aanwezigheid tegen te komen, of een onidentificeerbare stem te horen?
Definite being, or voice clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Zag u overleden of religieuze geesten?
Saw them
Met betrekking tot ons aardse leven buiten Religie
Heeft u tijdens uw ervaring speciale kennis of informatie gekregen over uw doel?
Yes Very private.
Zijn uw relaties specifiek veranderd als gevolg van uw ervaring?
Yes I am much more willing just to be me without pretense, walls or protections that we humans erect to protect ourselves from REALLY being seen.
Na de NDE
Was de ervaring moeilijk in woorden uit te drukken?
Yes We don't have words in our vocabulary that express the 'energetic colors of vibration' emitted by 'higher being'. The emotional quality of 'feeling state' beyond measure or words. Information received so simple, yet so complicated it would take hours to verbalize. Recognition of persons in tunnel already 'passed over' (I think) so familiar, yet didn't recognize a one. Saw my grandma no words. Couldn't see 'God', but saw energy emitting and felt enormous vibration and felt emotional presence and vibration throughout life review.
Heeft u na uw ervaring enige paranormale, bijzondere of andere speciale gaven die u voor de ervaring niet had?
Yes Personal.
Zijn er één of meerdere delen van uw ervaring die speciaal betekenisvol of belangrijk voor u zijn? Gelieve uit te leggen.
Oh my God, are you kidding? Too personal for a computer screen.
Heeft u deze ervaring ooit met anderen gedeeld?
Yes Immediately. Sure, reactions were mixed. I hope they were influenced.
Had u enige kennis van bijna-doodervaringen (BDE) voordat u uw ervaring had?
Uncertain After my mother died I had and my son had a 'dreamlike' waking encounter.
Wat geloofde je over de realiteit van je ervaring kort (dagen tot weken) nadat het gebeurd was?
Experience was definitely real It was more real that what's here in my consciousness on a daily basis and I stay as connected as possible daily.
Wat geloof je nu over de realiteit van je ervaring?
Experience was definitely real It affects me in every moment.
Heeft op enig moment in uw leven iets ooit een deel van de ervaring gereproduceerd?
No