Jeff F

Introduction to Spirituality and the Naming of My Spirit Guide A few years ago, my wife, daughter, and I played a fun game: we decided to name our spirit guides or guardian angels. I sensed mine was a feminine presence, so I named her Alicia. I didn't have a particular reason, I just liked the name. This detail will become important later in my story. My family and I have always been open about spirituality. Around 15 years ago, I began to truly explore spiritual concepts after gradually stepping away from my strict Baptist upbringing. My mother, perhaps unknowingly, sent me a book called “Return from Tomorrow” by George Ritchie. This was my first introduction to the phenomenon of near-death experiences (NDEs), and I was immediately captivated. I read many other books and explored various websites dedicated to NDEs, including NDERF.org. My exploration extended to different views on consciousness; from the mainstream reductionist materialistic perspective to the increasingly accepted idea that our consciousness is non-local. According to empirical evidence, our consciousness seems to survive physical death. Immersing myself in these topics led to a profound shift in my worldview and may have helped prepare me for my own experience years down the road. The Day of the Heart Attack: Signs, Struggles, and Help On the day of my heart attack, I rented a mountain bike since mine was still in the shop. I was riding local trails that I often visited throughout the season. It had been a couple of months since my last ride. So, that Saturday morning, I felt an intense urge to ride since I was feeling energetic and ready. The first mile went smoothly, but then I began to experience mild chest pain. I attributed this to my chronic acid reflux. I had dealt with similar discomfort in the past and years ago had even passed a stress test with flying colors. I assumed that my big breakfast was to blame, so continued riding. By the third mile, the pain got worse. I stopped to rest, but the pain did not subside. Light-headedness set in. I suspected something was wrong, but tried to convince myself it was just acid reflux. I decided to sit by the side of the trail, attempting yoga breathing to calm myself. Alone and struggling, I told myself, “If this is actually a heart attack, I am ready to go. My soul is tired and I am ready to leave this crazy world.” I was not suicidal, but I accepted the possibility that my time had come. Yet, my heart continued to beat painfully, keeping me conscious. Three bikers were riding by and realized I was in distress. One raced back for help while the other two stayed and talked with me, keeping me awake until paramedics arrived. Interestingly, the bike shop manager had sent someone to check on me, even though I was only two hours into the ride where I had a three-hour window. Perhaps he sensed something was wrong, or maybe he was simply being careful since I was riding alone. I was feeling disoriented, as I was picked up by paramedics in a golf cart and taken to an ambulance. Even then, I doubted the seriousness of my physical problems. I worried about the cost of an ambulance if it turned out to be only stomach issues. However, an EKG suggested a mild heart attack, and I was given a nitro pill as a precaution. At the Hospital: Signs, Synchronicity, and First Cardiac Arrest At the hospital, I was quickly admitted to the emergency wing, hooked up to IVs, and closely monitored. My wife joined me about 30 minutes later, helping to calm my growing anxiety and confusion. Then a beautiful young nurse entered and introduced herself as Alisha. She asked about my condition and explained the treatment process. My wife spoke with her more, and after Alisha left, my wife asked if I had caught her name. Suddenly, it struck me: this was the name from our “name your spirit guide” family game. Overwhelmed, I teared up, deeply realizing I was going to be okay, even though challenges lay ahead. My heart was beating irregularly, causing anxiety. But, I felt a profound calm at the same time. It was a strange sensation. Moments after this realization, I suddenly “shifted out” because I experienced cardiac arrest. The initial sensation was rapid, even more so than falling asleep. It was incredibly peaceful. This was my first NDE, and though seemingly simple, it was no less profound than those I had read about. I strive to describe the experience as authentically as possible, acknowledging the limitations of language and my brain's ability to process it. The First Near-Death Experience: The Void and Pure Consciousness According to my wife, my heart stopped for around 30 seconds. Subjectively, it felt like a second, or perhaps hours or days. Time seemed non-linear. I was not aware that I had died. There were no memories of my previous life at that moment. I existed in pure awareness, in a peaceful darkness often called “the void.” I felt bodiless, like pure consciousness. This state seemed to be my fundamental essence before any mind-created manifestations. I describe it as my default condition before the universe existed. It was a place of absolute peace and love, where my “soul” could rest and recharge; comforted as if wrapped in a warm blanket. I was my true self, or higher self. Also present was God, the creator/ source, yet it also felt as though we were one and the same. This sensation is difficult to comprehend or describe. I was in bliss and did not want to leave. Returning to Life: The Shock of Re-entry Coming back from this state was the polar opposite of dying. It was a violent sensation as the medical staff used a defibrillator to revive me. My consciousness was abruptly forced back into my body. My wife witnessed the entire event, urging me to return. She later said I screamed something incoherent, possibly otherworldly. From my perspective, I only remember the violent return and my scream, feeling anger at being forced back when I felt absolute content where I was. Although I knew I had a family, at that moment I struggled to care since I was overwhelmed by the transition. It took time to readjust to physical life. Differences from Typical NDEs Unlike many other NDE reports, I did not experience an out-of-body experience (OBE), nor did I travel through a tunnel, or see a bright light. I simply shifted instantly from one reality to another. Perhaps my familiarity with NDEs meant I did not need to experience those stages, though that is just speculation. Upon returning, I was disoriented. It was similar to waking from a vivid dream but amplified significantly. Second Cardiac Arrest and NDE: The Healing Meadow Because of my first cardiac arrest, the medical team prepared me for angioplasty. I eventually received four stents in my left anterior descending (LAD) coronary artery which was 100% blocked. They call this the “widow maker.” Strangely, all my other arteries were clear. This condition is known as single-vessel coronary artery disease, which is uncommon. During preparations, I suffered another cardiac arrest. I am unsure how long my heart stopped, but my wife was told it was around a minute. In this NDE, I found myself in a beautiful meadow filled with pink flowers. I felt the same peace as before. There was no transition, just an instantaneous shift from one reality to another. This time, I was more aware of a form or body. I was “walking” through the meadow. Ahead was a large tree on a hill, and about a dozen Beings sat in a circle of white chairs nearby. The horizon was bright. I felt unconditional, healing love from these Beings. I sensed a Christlike presence as well. I vaguely became aware of time and realized that I had died and previously lived a physical life. No words were exchanged, only feelings and a “download” of information. This is the best I could come up with at the time of writing this: * Do not step any further * You are loved more than you can possibly imagine * We are assisting you in the healing process * You must go back immediately; you have much more to do * Physical life is precious and crucial to the universe * Love is the most powerful force in the universe This is how my mind currently interprets what I received. I may recall more later, but for now, this feels sufficient. Returning Again: A Restored Peace Once more, I was violently brought back to life. This time, I felt no anger. I felt only complete peace and a renewed appreciation for the importance of physical existence. As the doctors worked on my artery, I felt calm with a deep sense of certainty that things would work out. Even the doctor asked, while he was doing the procedure, with a thick Indian accent, "Do you trust me?" I replied calmly, "I have no choice." Just like I really had no choice but to come back because, in no uncertain terms, it was not my time yet. Healing, Sensitivity, and Moving Forward As I recover from the heart attack, I sense I will continue to receive insights and guidance. Immediately, I noticed increased sensitivity to life. For example, while outside getting fresh air, I tried to stomp on a weed in my flower bed in a feeble attempt to kill it. But, I felt unable to harm it because I was sensing a connection to it. That feeling has faded somewhat as I readjust to everyday life, but I hope it never disappears completely. Even a couple of weeks later, I still have not killed that weed. I do not know what the future holds, but I hope to be part of making a positive difference in the world. I sense that the world is undergoing a chaotic transition, and I want to be a part of that change, spreading love and positivity in whatever way I can. I believe I am back for a reason, and for anyone reading this: you are here for a reason too. I can definitively say that everyone is absolutely loved beyond their earthly comprehension. Much love and peace to you all