Upplevelsebeskrivning
1995 - In the intensive care unit, curtain surrounding the bathroom area, light began emitting from behind the curtain (sort of 'Wizard of Oz'-like - no noise, just light and vibration). Knew a presence wished to come into room. Knew by the indescribable quality and feeling of light it was God, as I know him. I asked him 'not now', please my children (I am single parent of two, one disabled through leukemia at four, no family but me. I asked for more time, responsibility of visit too frightening. He/she/it immediately acquiesced. I always regretted it.
April 2000. Went for routine bypass surgery. Not so routine. Hemorrhagic disorder. Woke up forty-five days later after being on respirator and had many, many experiences, journeys, including 'waking' during one of the three surgeries, unable to open my eyes, found out later because they were taped shut, tried to wiggle so anesthesiologist could put me further under. No pain just watched procedure and heard every word uttered in the operating room including countdown of 'clock' well over seven minutes. Too real to continue watching so traveled through one of those lovely cracks to a place I think was made of alabaster with many pools and gardens. Did life review, quite interesting - 'tended to, taught, loved and replenished', more travel. In November 2000 had respiratory then cardiac arrest.
Tunnel, dark, rounded like a big drainage pipe. Smiling faces in shadows of the walls. 'Knew' every one of them, have no idea how. Light at other end. Same God light. My 'Nana' between the light and myself. Wanted her SO bad, needed her even more. No talking by mouth. Just let me know not my time unless I chose it. Suggested I didn't. Showed me my daughter. Asked for strength. Woke up, came home.
April 2000. Went for routine bypass surgery. Not so routine. Hemorrhagic disorder. Woke up forty-five days later after being on respirator and had many, many experiences, journeys, including 'waking' during one of the three surgeries, unable to open my eyes, found out later because they were taped shut, tried to wiggle so anesthesiologist could put me further under. No pain just watched procedure and heard every word uttered in the operating room including countdown of 'clock' well over seven minutes. Too real to continue watching so traveled through one of those lovely cracks to a place I think was made of alabaster with many pools and gardens. Did life review, quite interesting - 'tended to, taught, loved and replenished', more travel. In November 2000 had respiratory then cardiac arrest.
Tunnel, dark, rounded like a big drainage pipe. Smiling faces in shadows of the walls. 'Knew' every one of them, have no idea how. Light at other end. Same God light. My 'Nana' between the light and myself. Wanted her SO bad, needed her even more. No talking by mouth. Just let me know not my time unless I chose it. Suggested I didn't. Showed me my daughter. Asked for strength. Woke up, came home.
Bakgrundsinformation
Gender:
Female
Date NDE Occurred:
(2) in 2000
NDE-element
Vid tiden för din upplevelse, fanns det en livshotande händelse?
Yes Heart attack Open heart surgery, 3 open hearts in three days in April and In November Complete cardiac and respiratory arrest due to CHF Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Had heart attack in 1995. Had experience in the intensive care unit but willed it away, too scary, always regretted it but had children who needed me. In 2005 had multiple bypass, which did not go well, three open heart surgeries in three days due to hemorrhaging. On respirator for forty-five days. Many journeys and experiences throughout that period in April/May. In November had complete respiratory and cardiac arrest. Another experience.
Hur bedömer du innehållet i din upplevelse?
Mixed
Kände du dig separerad från din kropp?
Yes
I lost awareness of my body
Hur jämförde sig din högsta nivå av medvetenhet och vaksamhet under upplevelsen med din normala vardagliga medvetenhet och vaksamhet?
More consciousness and alertness than normal It was much more real. I know that doesn't make much sense.
Vid vilket tillfälle under upplevelsen var du på din högsta nivå av medvetenhet och vaksamhet?
In presence of the main God, light, vibration. But most of all in tunnel when choice had to be made. I was tired.
Var dina tankar påskyndade?
Neither
Verkade tiden gå snabbare eller långsammare?
Neither I have what I call 'Swiss cheese for brains'. Some things are missing or dropped.
Var dina sinnen mer livliga än vanligt?
Neither
Jämför din syn under upplevelsen med din vardagliga syn som du hade omedelbart före upplevelsen
Colors perfect, things and places seen without flaw, almost undisturbed. Every petal of every flower perfect. No decay of any kind. Transparency somehow changed and music without time. Couldn't explain that one in a million years wouldn't know where to begin.
Jämför din hörsel under upplevelsen med din vardagliga hörsel som du hade omedelbart före upplevelsen
It was hearing but not auditory exactly all the time.
Verkade du vara medveten om händelser på andra ställen?
Neither
Passerade du genom en tunnel?
Yes Already described.
Såg du några väsen i din upplevelse?
Saw them
Mötte du eller blev medveten om några avlidna (eller levande) varelser?
Yes Already described.
Såg du, eller kände dig omgiven av, ett strålande ljus?
A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Såg du ett övernaturligt ljus?
Yes Already described.
Verkade du komma in i någon annan, övernaturlig värld?
Clearly mystical or unearthly realm already described some. many more, lots of travel and sights
Vilka andra känslor kände du under upplevelsen?
Wonder, joy, fear, trust, grateful, small, big, powerful, powerless, amazed, graced, light, open, peaceful, inquisitive and loved and loving. Perfectly in tune.
Kände du en känsla av frid eller trevlighet?
Incredible peace or pleasantness
Kände du en känsla av glädje?
Incredible joy
Kände du en känsla av harmoni eller enhet med universum?
United, one with the world
Verkade du plötsligt förstå allting?
Everything about the universe
Kom scener från ditt förflutna tillbaka till dig?
Remembered many past events Life review takes place through the feelings and emotions of others in any given moment in time. We experience and feel whatever we created in that moment for them. I am much more sensitive.
Kom scener från framtiden till dig?
From the world's future
Very private.
Kom du till en gräns eller en punkt utan återvändo?
A conscious decision to 'return' to life
Gud, Spiritualitet och Religion
Vad var din religion innan din upplevelse?
Moderate Raised catholic, believe in collective unconscious, a higher power have had unusual, unexplainable experiences throughout life making conservative organized religious experience not acceptable.
Har dina religösa handlingar förändrats sedan din upplevelse?
Uncertain While in many ways the information and experience was powerful and informing, I know less and less as the days roll on. Not that I am loosing information or experience. Just different.
Vad är din religion nu?
Liberal Have conscious contact w/ higher power daily, pray and meditate daily, use Native American Medicine Wheel for healing/teaching. Use ancient esoteric teachings from stones crystals given by Native American grandma turned good catholic when she was a young
Hade du en förändring i dina värderingar och tro på grund av din upplevelse?
Uncertain While in many ways the information and experience was powerful and informing, I know less and less as the days roll on. Not that I am loosing information or experience. Just different.
Verkade du stöta på en mystisk varelse eller närvaro, eller höra en oidentifierbar röst?
Definite being, or voice clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Såg du avlidna eller religiösa andar?
Saw them
Angående våra jordiska liv bortom religion
Under din upplevelse, fick du särskild kunskap eller information om ditt syfte?
Yes Very private.
Har dina relationer förändrats specifikt som ett resultat av din upplevelse?
Yes I am much more willing just to be me without pretense, walls or protections that we humans erect to protect ourselves from REALLY being seen.
Efter NDE
Var det svårt att uttrycka upplevelsen i ord?
Yes We don't have words in our vocabulary that express the 'energetic colors of vibration' emitted by 'higher being'. The emotional quality of 'feeling state' beyond measure or words. Information received so simple, yet so complicated it would take hours to verbalize. Recognition of persons in tunnel already 'passed over' (I think) so familiar, yet didn't recognize a one. Saw my grandma no words. Couldn't see 'God', but saw energy emitting and felt enormous vibration and felt emotional presence and vibration throughout life review.
Har du några psykiska, ovanliga eller andra speciella gåvor efter din upplevelse som du inte hade före upplevelsen?
Yes Personal.
Finns det en eller flera delar av din upplevelse som är särskilt meningsfulla eller betydelsefulla för dig? Vänligen förklara.
Oh my God, are you kidding? Too personal for a computer screen.
Har du någonsin delat denna upplevelse med andra?
Yes Immediately. Sure, reactions were mixed. I hope they were influenced.
Hade du någon kunskap om nära döden-upplevelse (NDU) före din upplevelse?
Uncertain After my mother died I had and my son had a 'dreamlike' waking encounter.
Vad trodde du om verkligheten av din upplevelse kort efter (dagar till veckor) det hände?
Experience was definitely real It was more real that what's here in my consciousness on a daily basis and I stay as connected as possible daily.
Vad tror du om verkligheten av din upplevelse nu?
Experience was definitely real It affects me in every moment.
Vid något tillfälle i ditt liv, har något någonsin återgett någon del av upplevelsen?
No