Upplevelsebeskrivning
I don't know how. This is very difficult. How does one describe the indescribable? Okay, I'll start with a part of the poetry I put in the book. It was like a meeting day with the great intelligence - the dew on the grass, the sky at daybreak, the enlightened one. Great light which I became one with. Total and utter peace and serenity. Pure love - unconditional love, pure omnipotence, pure comparison, a sinless intelligence, knowing this intelligence was beyond what I was. It is something, which would take many lifetimes to achieve. Total rapture, a feeling of pure joy. Didn't want to leave it. I am part of this intelligence even though I know this intelligence is pure knowledge and sinless, yet I am a sinner. My body is not my soul. Felt my soul separate - sorry hard to describe. Soul has different mission and can communicate differently - bloody hard to explain. Sorry you ask too much. Too hard to describe and I know I have failed.
Bakgrundsinformation
Gender:
Female
Date NDE Occurred:
July 1989
NDE-element
Vid tiden för din upplevelse, fanns det en livshotande händelse?
Yes Illness Plus medical test as stated above which resulted in calamity. Leaking spinal fluid following lumbar puncture to determine Multiple Sclerosis. Was having severe MS attack at the time but was not sure of it, of course as doctors were unsure. Lumbar puncture was to determine Multiple Sclerosis. Bad leakage!
I was leaking spinal fluid. That will do it plus having a very severe multiple sclerosis attack. Lay in the bed for five weeks, didn't move, speechless apparently, dribbled, had to be fed with a spoon. Lost five weeks, that'll do it.
Hur bedömer du innehållet i din upplevelse?
Mixed
Kände du dig separerad från din kropp?
Yes It seemed perfectly normal and I wasn't worried about it. Just like slipping out of a pair of pajamas.
Vid vilket tillfälle under upplevelsen var du på din högsta nivå av medvetenhet och vaksamhet?
Unconscious but thought I was awake. Experience more real than sitting here typing.
Jämför din hörsel under upplevelsen med din vardagliga hörsel som du hade omedelbart före upplevelsen
No verbal communication. Communication just happened without effort. Didn't need a voice box. Just felt communication. Soul explained experience as 'for my sake' if I have to put it in words. I am not really the person 'I think' I am. It was that sort of feeling. The soul has a mission different to this dippy blonde. Oh heck, this is hard.
Passerade du genom en tunnel?
No
Mötte du eller blev medveten om några avlidna (eller levande) varelser?
No
Såg du ett övernaturligt ljus?
Yes YES, YES, YES, YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. Not like a regular light bulb. Brilliant light. Literally the light of the world. White, white light. Everywhere. It is around me in front of me and behind me. I am with the light and the light is with me. I am part of the light. I can see the earth as a living organism. It is alive. Noting on this earth can describe the experience or come close to it.
Verkade du komma in i någon annan, övernaturlig värld?
A clearly mystical or unearthly realm As described above - earth as a living organism - stupendous, miraculous - hard to describe.
Vilka andra känslor kände du under upplevelsen?
Rapture, joy, bliss, total love. Oh, wonder! Nothing on earth like it.
Verkade du plötsligt förstå allting?
Everything about the universe I came to know the experience I underwent physically was for the sake of my soul. It sounds weird but that was the reason. Soul is not me but I am the soul - I know, it sounds weird. Everything is interlinked, alive and interdependent. Earth is a totally living organism like a cell. At one stage, I knew something extremely important but at a certain point, I lost it and became conscious. As if I knew it, I wouldn't come back. Near the point of totally knowing, I came back and was conscious.
Kom scener från ditt förflutna tillbaka till dig?
My past flashed before me, out of my control A book was opened in front of me which contained everything I had ever said, done, experienced - good and bad. It was like a record of my life. Even my thoughts! It was confronting. Yes, I learned that life was just a schoolroom, just a learning place. We are here to learn and better ourselves but not materially! We are souls with bodies, not bodies with souls. We are here to learn to walk in the shoes of the 'fisherman'. We all ultimately face our own 'crucifixion' and salvation. Nobody gets off this earth without the lesson. I do not judge people as I once did. I am considered a bit weird because of my experience. It changed friendships. It changed my marriage. I left on a personal journey for about six months about eleven years ago because of the effect of it. Hard for husband to understand at the time. I came back and later on, my husband became ill with a serious disease. We are now extremely close and totally bonded.
Kom scener från framtiden till dig?
Scenes from the world's future I had knowledge regarding people and future events e.g. I knew what marriages would break up and when, well into the future. I knew when someone who thought they weren't sick, was sick. I could feel pain in other people, emotional and physical - this was distressing and became unbearable for me, so much so that I ultimately asked to be 'let off' because of the pain. Others who had similar 'encounters' knew me - pure strangers. People would say, 'You know, don't you?' and other such things. It disturbed my family. I wasn't 'let off' for a while. I knew what people were thinking. I started to do writing automatically and driven to join speaking clubs to give certain speeches about the environment, health etc. The breakdown of communism known in advance. Started to become frightened of myself.
Kom du till en gräns eller en punkt utan återvändo?
I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I felt crucified by my physical ordeal and in fact, my mother who had no idea what to make of my terrible health and recovery, called it a crucifixion. I had to come back for the sake of my soul. I had more work to do, part of that work involved my mother who passed away last year and that is another unusual story - my goodness.
Gud, Spiritualitet och Religion
Vad var din religion innan din upplevelse?
Moderate Was Roman Catholic. Am now more spiritual and less religious. Totally unprejudiced concerning all religions.
Vad är din religion nu?
Liberal I am all religions I believe. But know they are all flawed. I cannot describe in words why. Sorry.
Hade du en förändring i dina värderingar och tro på grund av din upplevelse?
Yes I am of no specific religion. I believe in them all but all are flawed. Am more spiritual.
Efter NDE
Var det svårt att uttrycka upplevelsen i ord?
Yes It is as if you are asking me the same question. It is impossible to say what makes it hard to communicate because there was no communication in words in the experience. It was total communion with the universe, sublime. Sorry words are too vague for the wonderful.
Har du några psykiska, ovanliga eller andra speciella gåvor efter din upplevelse som du inte hade före upplevelsen?
Yes As described above. Ability to feel people. I could feel their emotions. What they were thinking. Could feel another's pain - physical and emotional. This was hard and taxing. Could ask questions of the universe (for want of a better word) and get the answer immediately shot straight into my solar plexus with a thud. Could literally feel it in there. Was never wrong. I became afraid of this ability. As described, others who had had the same experience knew me immediately and sometimes we both frightened each other.
Finns det en eller flera delar av din upplevelse som är särskilt meningsfulla eller betydelsefulla för dig? Vänligen förklara.
The light and the communication with the light was the best part. The worst part was coming back and trying to make sense of the world and the stupidity of people sometimes. People thinking I am odd.
Har du någonsin delat denna upplevelse med andra?
Yes Mostly they listened but I knew they thought I was a little 'spare'. Lost a few friends. I am mostly alone now. My husband believes me, as does my father-in-law. I was a real party animal but now we are just so close my husband and me. It is as if we are totally bonded through terrible health problems. Other than these people plus mother and mother-in-law (two women now deceased) everyone, other than others who had had it, thought I was loony.
Vid något tillfälle i ditt liv, har något någonsin återgett någon del av upplevelsen?
No
Finns det några andra frågor som vi kan ställa för att hjälpa dig att kommunicera din upplevelse?
The experience didn't belong to this earth and we are bound by time and space and language. It's not your fault. No there are not any other questions for the totally unable to describe.